Cybernetic opium shows flickered
Empty theatres grew inside the dying
As their eyes burned with medicines
‘Do I want to continue with this?’
Monaural tones and the gray shades of sleep : Reflected on the oceans below
I remember long ago seeing the beach : And dreaming of being a fish
Swimming the seas with perfect grace : I dreamt I grew old and began to die
My fins slowed as my body sank : Along the reef I died alone
But as I died, I sprouted wings : And left the sea behind
I remember seeing the sun on the water : And splashing my shadow on the beach
Before the search, before the Nothing : Far beyond the stars I had seen It
The Nexus of two worlds merging : Over the ocean the Disintegrator moved
And I watched the fish become birds : The stars replaced rocks along the beach
As the fish ascended heaven
All the while my body resting in hospital beds
Breathing with the aid of machines
I was somewhere along the edge of the sea
The sounds and smells surrounded me, but I did not see
Fine sand, the strange calmness of a rough night sea
The Tarot reader had setup shop
‘What future would you like today, sir?’
I asked her if she had seen my brothers
If the cards could set my course
But she had nothing to say to me
Her eyes stayed fixed on the cards yet undealt
From a distance her table looked like a lost shipwreck
Half buried in shifting sands, embraced by the windy currents
Sifting through sands gathered inside my head
I pieced together images of lost times
When my brothers would play in the sands and the seas
Until that fateful day when all passed from view
That life changing event I know existed only because
Of the broken evidence that I fumbled to piece together
Another strange shipwreck seemingly forgotten
My feet shuffled through sandy waves
The wind’s footprints perfectly symmetrical
I drifted, my only sign was the footprints I had left behind
There were no stars to guide my path
And there was no moon to determine my direction
I felt as an old phonograph must feel
Continually moving forward, but actually going nowhere
Weary from nothing walking, I slept in the sand
With the idea I would never leave this place
‘Must I continue with this?’
I debated this to myself aloud
Maybe my strife would move the hand of God
Plucking me from this sandy emptiness
Dropping me into a watery tomb
I began to half-dream of the Tarot reader
Placing cards on her sinking table
Her hands moved too fast to see
The cards piled, piled, piled, faster
She stopped, out of cards to play
Only five were visible after the fury
The Hanged Man, The Hierophant, The Magician, The Fool
The Empress crossing the four
And I did not understand
I slept and I dreamed and I woke up in the sand
But this was not where I had fallen asleep
There were no footprints and no sounds of the sea
In the distance was a single trail of smoke
Almost invisible on the blackened sky