Turmoil and Neglecting the Site
// June 24th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Site News
I know it’s been quite a while since I updated the site, but I assure you, updates are coming. I’ve been through some turmoil in the last couple months that involved getting a new job and moving to a different location. I plan to keep the site updated from here on out with fresh material, so keep checking back with me. If you have any questions, be sure to them to me as always. Thanks for your patience!
Thirteen Shapes – Part 13
// February 25th, 2009 // No Comments » // Thirteen Shapes
For three and one half days I floated in space
The perfect darkness consuming everything
‘Do I still have a body, I cannot see it’
I began to understand that it was pointless to struggle
Blind and suspended in a gelatin tar
I began to understand that it was pointless to debate it
In purest darkness, there is no awake and asleep
Three days, three hundred thousand years
And it was suddenly over
(The Living Dream)
Somewhere in the ocean a shell outgrown was cast away
Stretching, pulling from this calcified body prison armor
Empty and pointless sleeping
Half-way nestled in sandy coral covered floors
Years of wear left visible on its hull
This shipwreck left empty, holding testament to a past
Somewhere in the ocean a crab began to grow another
Soft and unprotected hiding among the rocks
Blue green scales moved up and down
The sleeping water dragon awakened once again
Like waves it moves unhindered by the waters
Seven hundred feet of slithering teeth
The cradle of Leviathan empty and seeking to be filled
The dragon moved among the waters
Razor splitting waves, slicing currents
It passed along the coral reef and dipped among the rocks
Hiding crabs found no refuge from the teeth
While those that slept in open sand
Were found prepared and left alive
I watched from afar as the fishes flocked to the beast
Halos of scale and fishy aqualung bubbles
Pulled by Leviathan gravity, fish fins stretch
Water leaps become airborne flights
Scales fall like empty shells
On the beach four new children played
Their Mother counting cards on a picnic blanket
Four little fish swimming among the sands
Deep in the ocean Leviathan returned to sleep
Bubbles escaping dragon lungs
A siren’s song
Once again, I’ve been sleeping
Unconsciously constructing worlds
This curious life-play unfolding; c’est interdit
(The Sleeping World)
The sand crouched waiting
Nothing swimming through its course current
The Black Dragon eyeing children’s play
Smoky willow wisps invisible to their eyes
But oh, that smell
The waters approached and retreated
Washing away sand, revealing new sand
Leviathan sleeping under its surface
Blue and comfortable in its nest
Waiting to be called
There are whispers on the winds
And a sudden thunder crack of truth
‘Did I just hear that?’
I had given my life to hear the thunder yell
And then I gave my life again
And I gave it again
Thirteen Shapes – Part 12
// February 25th, 2009 // No Comments » // Thirteen Shapes
The images all bathed in white light heat
White, white, white, slowly changing into blue
The dream cooled and became tangible
Water for miles as far as I could see
And on the bottom I sat
Swallowed and inhaled
‘Dear Lord, I do not ask for forgiveness
Only the knowledge that it all ends here
The fire is too much for any soul to bare
I wish to know that neither the gates of Heaven
Nor the the pits of Hell will accept
My soul and the hidden horrors
That feeds upon it without mercy’
‘I pray that you will grant me this one boon’
‘The pain and nothingness should end here
That my body become a seal as well as a vessel
I pray that the fire not be allowed to spread
Or that life absorb and grow from my corpse’
‘Many things are forgotten
Some things are forever
Life is built upon the things that are forever
And I no longer have the option to start again’
Respiration stops
Overworked machines turned off, asleep
No more tubes and monitor beeps
Sweet silence, the lack of honeybees
The time of death, three thirteen pm
Finishing Touches
// February 25th, 2009 // No Comments » // Site News
I’m adding the finishing touches to ‘13 Shapes’ and it should be posted here shortly. Thanks to the people who’ve been mailing me curious about the ending. I assure you, it will be up for everyone to read by the end of today. I’ve just been really busy lately and am still getting over a touch of the flu. Thanks again to everyone that has been keeping up with my progress on the site. I really appreciate it.
Thirteen Shapes – Part 11
// February 5th, 2009 // No Comments » // Thirteen Shapes
Things never seem to end the way I want
Accomplished Nothing, discovered Nothing
I walk around in circles for forty or fifty years
Then I die and hope that they will remember me’
Dead in the middle of the Nowhere
Some pathetic last attempt to rectify
A hundred thousand mistakes and forgotten people
A complete waste of dying time
A hopeful notion of last minute enlightenment
A convict begging for his life despite his former self
Unfortunate enough to be born after Christ had already left
I hung, my veins under pressure popped
Strange spinal noises, metal on metal grind
This may have all been a heat delirium episode
Maybe I wasn’t technically hanging
Under that ray intensity things become hard to decipher
As if deciphering was what I had been doing anyway
Lack of oxygen has unique effects upon the human psyche
Though usually lasting no more than seconds
Time feels slowed, diluted with a thickening agent
Like the blood inside the recently dead, clotting without movement
Like the syrup of time, the air feels thick, too thick to breathe
A gurgle, restricted passage
Deep breathe, pull deep, salival inhalation, drowning
It felt more like drowning, yes, I think it was drowning
Slowly the time thickens to the point that it stops
Everything comes to a stop except the mind
Unable to think in frozen time, it begins to dream
An object, blurry, interpreted, reinterpreted
A sea shell, an automobile, a building, a city
That strange place where the mind is not asleep
But objects are not tangible
For a while I thought I was in the city again
The bumblebees danced and played
I felt ill, but relaxed enough to remain docile
Strapped to a board while they prodded
Was it understanding they were after?
Focus, focus
What was the mission again?
Seize the day, become fruitful and multiply
I repeated over and over ‘What is this place?’
Maybe I believed I actually would tell myself
A mental rhetorical question? Had I died?
‘Why am I in this hospital bed?’
Loud beeping over and over and over
Falling asleep in one place, waking in another
A white sanitary cell, a dark filthy cell
‘Now my fingers look different?’
Deep mental breaths, moving too fast again
Unable to decipher the images, they piled up
I kept getting behind
Through all of it, the only thing I knew for sure
Was the burning in my eyes
Blinding light that penetrated the lids
A bowl of wrath poured out upon my body
